Dakota Johnson nude Anastasia Steele
What’s the sound of people swooning?
It seemed that it might be possible to learn the answer while watching “Fifty Shades of Grey” — the film based on the best-selling series of erotic novels — with an audience. But two hours later, nope. The sound of titters and outright laughter? Sure, and lots of it (some of it even intentional). But swooning? Titillation? Excitement? Better look in another theater.
So let’s get down to brass tacks. Yes, there are sex scenes in the film, quite a few. But for a movie where people are naked for a large chunk of time and play at bondage and dominance (without ever really seeming all that committed to it), it sure is boring.
But boredom is far from the only problem with director Sam Taylor-Johnson’s adaptation of the E.L. James book. If you wanted to be overly generous, you might even say that Taylor-Johnson, working from a script by Kelly Marcel, is simply moving slowly, working patiently toward what everyone in the audience came for in the first place — teasing, perhaps.
Or you might say, is anything ever going to happen here? Erotic? That’s a foreign notion in this movie.